Do you ever just sit and think, what if... or stand back and look at all that needs to be done and wonder, how did you get to this point?

I stand back and look around, at all the chaos around me, wondering what happened? The house is a mess, the kids are out of control, my relationship has fallen apart, and all I seem to think about is, having some fun for a change. Sounds greedy doesn't it? I turned 40 recently, and I was nervous about that, thinking of all that I haven't done in my life yet, what I want to be doing, how I want to be doing it, and who I want to be doing it with.

I wonder what if I had taken a different path, what would my life be like now? What if I would have just used different words, what if I just would have taken that chance? Where would I be now?

Sometimes, we go through life not really living it, but just thinking about it. Wouldn't it be nice if…

If I could have that, or go there. Some of us just settle for what we have, for the comfort of knowing that it's familiar, however that comfort zone and sense of familiar isn't always enough. I think I have gotten to a point in my life, where I have realized that, I am not so comfortable anymore. I don't want to just think about life anymore, I want to live it.

I want to be happy, I want to take my children places, I want to be able to decorate my home to reflect who I am, I want to be me, and not be worried that someone won't like it. I want to be able to just sit back and relax and not worry all the time. How long does it take to get to that point?

I think about finding that great job, making enough money to be comfortable, doing something that I really enjoy, I feel like I have spent my whole life living it someone else's way. For now I need to take a deep breath, kiss my children, take responsibility for where I am, and keep moving forward until I get to that place I want to be in. Stop thinking about that mess, and just get it done! Life is to short to be angry, and unhappy, and it has taken me this long to finally admit to myself, I am tired of JUST THINKING…

你是否曾坐下來想一想,要是….就不會退縮,茫然看著不得不面對繁冗鎖事,該怎么處理這個問題?

所有亂七八糟的事糾纏著我,我只能倒退回來四處張望,不知道究竟怎么了?房子一片狼藉,孩子不受管束,人際關系疏離,我能想的就是做一次樂觀的改變。難道很貪婪嗎?將近40,生命中還有許多事沒完成,我不禁汗岑連連。哪些事我想做的,該怎么做,找誰一起做?

我不禁遐想假如當初選了另一條完全不同的路,今天我的生活會是怎么樣呢?假如我獲取了另一些不同的信息,我會得到什么樣的機遇呢?今天我又該身處何方?

有時,我們無須對生活嚴加審視,僅僅需要稍作思考。假如….,生活不美好嗎?

早知如此就不會去了。有些人只滿足現狀,安于熟知,然而安逸的地方,熟知的感覺往往不夠。我自認為我已理解生活中意識到的過去的每一處,但是現在我不再感到安逸,不再是僅僅的思考而是去體驗。

我想能夠快樂,培養好孩子,裝修一個與我相符的家,我要做我自己不再顧忌誰喜不喜歡。我只要坐下來休息不再擔心時間流逝。什么時候才可以實現這些想法呢?

我考慮干一番轟轟烈烈的大事業,然后掙足夠的錢可以一勞永逸,做我真正喜歡的事。我覺得我用了全部的生命去為別人而活,現在我只需深深吸一口氣,吻吻小孩,做好本職工作,然后一路向前直到到達我夢想的地方。該停下來想想那些雜亂的事,把他們搞定!生命過于匆忙來不及憤怒,沮喪,花費太長的時間來最終妥協。我累了,只是想想…..